Luz Padilla

2.23-  was your birthday and I tried with everything I had to keep my mind off of the fact that this was now the first birthday knowing that we'd never see you face to face.  All this time, I'd prayed every day that we'd be given another chance to see you and hold you close.

I sat alone at the movie theater and cried.

I invited Adam and the family over because we needed each other.  Adam said that since it was a birthday, someone needed a gift and he gave me a pretty picture of you with your cool shaggy hairdo.  You were and will always be so beautiful to me.

We are headed up to see you tomorrow and I picked out really pretty flowers since I'm sure the ones we brought the last time are gone.

Ava is coming with us.  Though she never met you, she knows all too well about you, what you meant to us and how sad we are.  The tears haven't stopped and won't for a while.  Adam and I are so lucky to still have each other after everything we've been through.  He reminds me to keep going.

I'll see you tomorrow.  I love you.

Your Daughter.

Happy Birthday Mommy... This is the 1st birthday that we now know for certain where you are. Hang in there a bit longer, Crystal and I working on getting you off Hart Island and back home where you belong. I love you and miss you...this is tough, but your son is one tougher......we be back together soon in some form, but until then, Sleep Mommy, I got you from here..........

36 years of searching has brought us here. 36 years of hope, has brought us here. You died alone,and remained lost to us for all this time,but no more. We found you, and soon enough we will bring you home. 
Crystal and I are coming to get you soon enough,just wait a little longer we got you mommy....💔

To our Mom.  Our Lucy.  Our Queenie.  

Sitting down to write this has been one of the most painful moments outside of just learning you were gone.  You may have, for a long time, thought you had to be on your own.  That you weren't suitable to be around loved ones.  Your children.....Your grand-children.  If you ever allowed that thought to enter into your mind, believe me when I say, you were wrong.  All these years you were indeed loved and missed immensely.  Though our past may have contributed to the fear, shame and guilt you may have carried, for us the future remained bright that one day we'd see each other again.  Another chance to tell you how much I loved you.  Another chance to tell you that I carried no judgment as to how you chose to live your life and that I would share with my own daughters that you were always in my heart and how much I missed you every day.  

We searched for you.  We cried for you.  We wished you a Happy Birthday for every birthday that we missed with you.  

We never gave up on you.  No matter how angry we got at times and questioned God, the universe as to why we couldn't be together and just change the past and become that trio again.  

We will hold tight to the memories of the those miracle moments we encountered when crossing paths and spending those minutes, hours or days with you when we had the chance.  

I will continue to share our stories with the girls.  Adam will hold you close to his heart and with our story,  ensure he gives his children that time, connection and commitment the we want to believe you would have if the streets had not gotten into your head and told you that you couldn't.  That you weren't valued.  That you didn't matter.

You mattered to us.  You mattered.  

We will now and forever love you mommy.

Your daughter Crystal
Your son Adam
Your grand-children Marcus, Sidra, Tyler, Ava, Olivia, Charlotte, Vivienne and Penelope